i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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