I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
