Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
