You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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