How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
And then he peed in my hair
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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