Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I need a beard to bite.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
