that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
