kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
BRING THE BAGELS
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
