Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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