he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
