We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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