my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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