Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Rumble strips road head = magical
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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