when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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