I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
