it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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