Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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