its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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