This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
