when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm at about main and main street
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
