is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
