Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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