Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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