me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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