if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i think i have two assholes
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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