There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
