Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
