I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
