I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
