Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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