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his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
