I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
