from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
