I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
