I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
if only i could text you this smell
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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