yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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