she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Never joke about your clitoris.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
