Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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