her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
