I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
