There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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