Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Two words: nipple clamps
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