the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I have demons in me.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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