It's like a parade of train wrecks.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
