We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
