dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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