If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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