She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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