Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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