some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
