she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
