He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
