So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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