The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
